What You Wish For
by Bottle Red Rosie
Summary: Ishiah makes an inadvertent wish and Niko ends up paying the price. One shot. Warnings for attempted m/m non-con (no graphic content). Has a tiny bit of plot.


**Rating:** M  
 **Words:** 7,000  
 **Spoilers:** General references to plot points in the later novels.  
 **Warnings:** Language, attempted m/m non-con, non-graphic adult situations.  
 **Summary:** Be careful what you wish for.  
 **Disclaimer:** I own nothing.  
 **A/N:** Veers dangerously close to pwp but nothing graphic and it does have a tiny bit of plot! Niko abuse abounds.

 **WHAT YOU WISH FOR**

"Spar with me."

It wasn't that I'd never heard Robin express the desire to put his hands all over Niko in the interests of exercise; but I'd never actually heard him ask before.

I looked up from my Lucky Charms, socked feet dangling above the kitchen floor as I ate my breakfast sitting on the counter.

I knew it drove Nik insane, but that's what little brothers are for, right?

Robin's expression was completely serious, and when I glanced at Niko, he seemed as taken aback as I was.

"I thought you generally eschewed traditional exercise in favor of more—" Nik paused, as diplomatic as ever, "—horizontal activities."

Robin bared his teeth in what ought to have been his usual lascivious grin, but instead there was something else, something completely _other_ behind his eyes, something totally unlike his usual good-natured sexual harassment of my brother.

I could tell Niko noticed it too.

He tilted his head slightly to one side, his long braid sliding forward over his shoulder as he did so.

"Are you alright, Robin?"

The movement of Nik's braid caught the puck's gaze, which lazily drifted to his shoulder, before gradually beginning to rove all over him in a way that made _me_ feel uncomfortable, let alone the effect it might be having on my brother.

Nik, to his credit, made no comment on the way Goodfellow was clearly mentally undressing him. Which, to be fair, wasn't particularly hard, considering Nik was wearing only sweatpants, his intention having been to cajole me into joining him in his usual daily routine of physical torture masquerading as cardio.

"My face is up here, Robin," Nik told the puck, slightly more sternly than his usual tone when dealing with Robin's completely unsubtle lust for him.

The puck's green eyes slowly—very slowly—slid up my brother's body from the general region of his thighs to his face.

Robin nodded, not even denying he'd been ogling what he saw.

"It's a beautiful face," he told my brother, taking a step towards him that had Niko perhaps instinctively taking a step back.

"Robin," Nik repeated. "Is everything alright? You don't seem your usual self."

Robin laughed sardonically, and it wasn't a nice sound. Not at all.

In fact it was so not nice it had me silently sliding off the countertop and reaching for my KA-BAR knife.

"Dear boy," the puck was saying, "this is perhaps the most 'myself' I've been in two thousand years."

Nik blinked at him. "Not in my experience."

Robin chuckled again. "You don't remember being Achilles. You don't remember the things I did to you. The things you let me do to you."

Niko shifted his weight from foot to foot, a tiny frown between his eyebrows the only indication that he was in any way disturbed by this conversation.

He took another step back.

"Robin," he said again. "Tell me what's wrong."

Robin shrugged. "Nothing's wrong," he repeated. "Nothing that can't be cured by the lamb lying down with the goat."

Now my brother was fast. The fastest human I knew, actually.

But Robin was something else entirely.

Something primal.

Something ancient.

Something very fast and very, very strong.

And although Niko and I both knew better than to underestimate the puck, that didn't mean he couldn't take us by surprise occasionally.

Like now.

When he suddenly lunged at my brother, flipped him over onto his back and was on top of him, straddling his hips, before Niko even had time to blink.

"Robin—" I took a step towards them, unsure whether to intervene. Unsure what was going on. Unsure why Robin suddenly had my brother's wrists pinned to the mat above his head and why his teeth were sinking into his shoulder.

I was also unsure I'd ever heard my brother yelp before.

But yelp he did. Maybe more in surprise than pain.

Although Robin was doing a pretty good job of gnawing on his collarbone so it had to have a hurt a little bit.

Nik's usually unshakeable facade was clearly shaken.

"Enough, Robin!" he growled. "Off. Now."

Robin didn't appear to be listening.

Or maybe just didn't care.

One of the hands gripping Niko's wrists slipped down along his arm and shoulder to finally grip his jaw, Nik's eyes widening considerably as Robin slid his mouth up over his neck to meet my brother's.

"Hey! Robin, what the hell?" I yelled, Nik's mouth currently too full of puck tongue to be able to make much of a verbal protest of his own at the violation.

One hand now free, Niko first tried shoving at Robin's shoulder, and when that didn't work started trying to yank his head away by his hair.

Which only seemed to turn the puck on even more.

"Harder!" he murmured, briefly coming up for air before plunging his tongue back into Nik's mouth, and while the puck's tongue might have still been exploring Niko's tonsils, his long fingers had let go of his jaw and moved on to trying to yank the waistband of Nik's sweatpants down over his hip.

Yep, definitely time to intervene.

Nik virtually growled at him, doing his best to try and get enough leverage to shove Robin off him, but Robin was having none of it, not even when I grabbed him by the shoulder and tried to drag him bodily off my big brother.

Next thing I knew I was on the other side of the room, back slamming into the side of the refrigerator as I finally skidded to a fetal-positioned halt on the linoleum.

I blinked, came back to myself at the sound of my brother's yell and tearing fabric, to the sight of Robin yanking Nik's head back by his braid while he simultaneously licked his neck and made further more forceful attempts to get my brother out of his sparse clothing.

While I did my best to try and jump start my brain out of neutral, I noticed Nik's fingers groping for my knife, which had skidded to a halt not far from his position.

Whether he would have used the weapon on Robin in defence of his virtue I never got to find out, as Goodfellow seemed to have figured out what Niko was up to without having actually raised his head from the position it was currently in trying to lick his chest from neck to navel.

Niko grimaced distastefully, Robin suddenly grabbing at his wrist, squeezing hard until he let go of the knife.

"I need to find something more useful for you to do with your hands," Robin murmured, and if Nik wasn't actually feeling threatened at this point, he would probably have rolled his eyes.

He didn't.

Because he obviously felt _very_ threatened.

"Robin, I don't want to hurt you, but if you don't stop _right now_ …" he began, but didn't get any further because that was the point where Robin yanked Niko's wrist so that his hand was pressed against a part of the puck's anatomy I never wanted to go anywhere near in my lifetime.

Nik's expression darkened, teeth gritted as he glanced meaningfully in my direction.

"Care to help, little brother?" he ground out.

I nodded, finally struggling to my feet. "On three?"

I wasn't quite sure what Robin did to Nik next, but from the position of the puck's hand and the surprised yell the movement elicited I thought I could probably guess.

"I think 'on one' would be more appropriate," Nik said, gritting his teeth again before somehow getting his foot up between himself and the puck's abdomen and giving a good hard kick that finally sent Robin flying off of him.

Maybe I ought to pay more attention when he was trying to teach me yoga.

Robin would have landed a couple of feet away had it not been for the gate I instantly built around him which sucked him right out of midair.

Niko was staring at the spot where Goodfellow had just been, breathing hard and doing his best to maintain his usual facade of zen.

He failed spectacularly.

"Where did you send him?" he asked tightly.

"Jersey," I replied. "Figured we needed time to think about what to do next."

Nik didn't move for a second, raised up on his elbows, his sweatpants torn and yanked way down on his hips, as he tried to regain his equilibrium.

"You okay?" I asked stupidly. Because, honestly, almost getting raped in front of his little brother by one of his best friends was probably not the best experience Nik had ever had.

He looked at me for a second, and just before the mask of zen slammed back down I recognized a look I'd not seen in his eyes since he was fourteen years old and Sophia had a boyfriend who seemed to have twice the hard-on for Niko he had for our mother.

Nik had spent the whole three months of their relationship fighting off wandering hands, barricading us in our room and not going anywhere in the house we were squatting in without at least one knife secreted about his person.

More than once he woke up in the middle of the night to find the guy standing over him with more on his mind than a sleepover.

Sophia had thought it was funny until she realized the only reason the pervert was with her was because he wanted Niko.

Then she'd kicked him out on his ass and beaten Nik black and blue for being prettier than she was.

"To be honest, I've been better," Nik said, finally struggling to his feet as he tried to locate his t-shirt.

"Was Robin here?"

We both started at the sudden voice behind us, and from the look on his face I could tell Nik was not only cursing himself for letting Robin get as far as he had with him, not that he'd had much choice, but also for allowing Ishiah to enter our apartment unnoticed.

He paused before yanking on his t-shirt.

Not before Ishiah got a good look at the bite marks his boyfriend had left on my brother's neck. Chest. Shoulder. Jaw. Hip.

Several of them had drawn blood.

Ishiah blanched visibly.

"You could say that," Niko replied tightly, hitching up his pants pointedly.

Ishiah swallowed.

"What's going on, boss?" I asked. Because Ishiah clearly had some idea what was happening.

The Peri sighed.

"I'm sorry," he said at length, looking away for a second before meeting Niko's more than irritated gaze. "I'm so sorry."

Nik straightened. "What did you do?" he asked pointedly.

Ishiah swallowed again.

"Ish?" I prompted.

He shook his head. "I came straight here when I realized," he said. "When I figured out what had happened. What I knew would be the first thing he'd try to do." He ducked his head. "The first human he'd try to do."

"What are you talking about?"

"Ish?"

Ishiah sighed. "I didn't think it was real," he said. "I thought he was a charlatan."

"Who?" Getting a Peri to talk was like pulling teeth sometimes.

Ishiah sighed again. "Last night a guy came into the bar—"

I growled. "How come interesting shit only ever happens on my night off?"

Niko frowned at the interruption. "And?" he prompted.

"He told me he was a leprechaun. Said he'd grant me a wish if I could provide him with a pint of Guinness. Which of course I could. It's one of Robin's favorites after all. Although he'd never admit it."

" _And?"_ Niko prompted again.

"You wished for your boyfriend to rape the first human he came into contact with?" I hazarded.

Ishiah's next sigh was positively mournful. "I wished…" He paused, shaking his head. "I don't believe in wishes. But...Robin and I had just had a huge fight because I'm tired of him always putting on this front and never being himself so...so...that's what I wished for."

I didn't get it. " _What's_ what you wished for?"

Nik swallowed. "You wished for Robin to be himself?" he said. "No pretense? No self-restraint?"

Ishiah nodded mutely.

"Essentially, you wished for him to be Hob?"

Ishiah neither confirmed nor denied, and I noticed Niko's fingers stray to the place on his chest where Hob, the oldest puck, had scarred him.

"So what do we do?" I asked. "How do we get back the Robin we know and barely tolerate? Y'know, preferably without him trying to get in Nik's pants again?"

Niko shuddered. Visibly.

"We find the leprechaun and get him to undo it?" Ishiah hazarded.

"Or we find Robin," Nik countered.

I glanced over at him. He still looked pretty shaken but was making one helluva stab at hiding the fact. "And then what?"

Nik shrugged. "Talk him out of it?"

I snorted. "Right now, big brother, I think he'd much sooner screw you than talk to you."

Niko swallowed. "So maybe _you_ talk him out of it."

"In case you hadn't noticed," I pointed out, "my idea of talking someone out of something is with a couple of explosive rounds to the chest. Talking is _your_ speciality."

Ishiah was somehow standing next to Nik without his having seemed to move. He put a hand on my brother's shoulder, which unaccountably caused Nik to flinch. "I'll fix it," he said, instantly withdrawing his hand. "I won't let him hurt you." His wings appeared behind him briefly, and he shook them out the way he did when he used them to shield Robin from danger.

Niko straightened, setting his jaw, " _I_ won't let him hurt me," he insisted. "If he tries anything again I'll...I'll think of...something. Else. Something else."

My big brother didn't know what to do.

Niko _always_ knew what to do.

"Well we need to find him before we can do anything," I pointed out.

"You sent him to Jersey?" Ishiah clarified, his wings gently disappearing again.

I nodded. "Remember that shithole we lived in for a while?" I reminded Niko.

Nik squinted at me. "You might need to narrow that down."

"Where we lived when that guy…" I stopped. No point reminding Nik about it. Weird that I should send Robin there of all places.

But Nik knew already. "Trenton?" he guessed without further prompting.

 _I_ might not have realized why that place had popped into my head at the sight of Robin trying to force himself on my brother, but Nik obviously did.

"What happened in Trenton?" Ishiah asked.

Niko exchanged a glance with me but made no reply.

"Dear old Mom's boyfriend of the week," I explained shortly. "Had a thing for Nik and no…what did you call it? Self-restraint?"

Ishiah nodded. "I'm sorry," he repeated. "I would not intentionally have wished this on you. Either of you."

Niko regarded him for a second. "You did not foresee this," he said at length. "And you don't know our family history. We will survive. But I would like to ensure the same can be said for Robin."

Just like my big brother. Always concerned for everybody but himself.

"Count on it, my friend," Ishiah said. "He may be a self-obsessed, self-aggrandizing idiot with a penchant for lusting after anything blond he comes into contact with, but he's _my_ idiot. And it's _my_ idiocy that put him in this position. He loathes Hob. He loathes the part of Hob that still exists within himself. If I had thought…"

Niko looked up at him solemnly. "We'll fix this together," he said.

"And we already have a surefire way of finding him," I pointed out.

The Peri and my brother turned in my direction, as if only just remembering I was there.

"We do?" Nik said with a frown.

"For someone with a brain the size of a planet, you can be pretty dumb sometimes, bro," I told him.

His frown deepened. Then cleared. Then deepened again. "No," he said shortly. "No. That's a bad idea."

Ish glanced from Nik to me and back again.

While Robin had become adept at reading the unspoken communication that went on between myself and my brother, Ishiah hadn't quite gotten a handle on it yet.

"What's a bad idea?" he asked.

Nik shook his head and straightened. "Not doing it."

"C'mon, big brother! Take one for the team already!"

"I think I just took more than my fair share for the team, thank you," Nik growled.

Ishiah glanced back at me again. "Care to explain…?"

"It's simple," I told him. "At this moment in time, what does your wayward boyfriend want more than anything else?"

Ishiah frowned. "Sex with your brother," he replied shortly.

Niko made a weird sound in his throat that might have been a growl, but could equally have been him throwing up in his mouth a little.

"Exactly," I agreed. "And he needs to get back from Jersey," I added. "So that he can find my brother and have sex with him."

Niko growled again. "You are _not_ using me as bait," he insisted through gritted teeth.

Ishiah inclined his head slightly. "But the plan has merit," he mused, causing Niko to turn his scowl in his direction. "The first thing he did when he...he lost...what he lost, was seek you out. Of all the humans he has desired, he claims you're the only one he's never succeeded in having his way with."

"And he never will," Niko insisted sullenly.

"You won't have to actually _do_ anything," I assured him. "He's going to come looking for you anyway. And we'll be waiting. To defend your honor and virtue."

Niko squinted at me. "I'm perfectly capable of defending my own honor and virtue."

"Didn't look like that from where I was standing."

Nik shifted uncomfortably. "He took me by surprise."

"And then he almost took you, period."

I didn't often use the word, "sulky" about my brother, but right then he had the exact same expression on his face I used to get as a teenager when he told me I wasn't hanging out at the mall with the other airheads from my class.

"Right now," I continued, "he's stronger and he's faster than any of us and he has a dick with a mind—and a time zone—of its own. If that thing comes looking for you, you're gonna need more than a katana and a prayer to protect your ass. Literally."

If it was possible, Ishiah looked even more uncomfortable than Nik did.

"He can be...insistent," he agreed diplomatically.

Nik sighed resignedly. "So your cunning plan, little brother, is for us to just wait here until Robin—and his storied sexual organ—come looking for me?"

I grinned at him. "Exactly. And when he gets here we'll be packing almost as much heat as he is."

* * *

"Are you sure your brother can handle this?" Ishiah murmured, glancing sideways at me as we waited for Robin to show up to further molest my brother.

"He can and he can hear you," Niko replied, voice raised slightly as he paced the workout area of our apartment. The same place he'd been when Robin had...taken him by surprise.

Ishiah and I were hiding out in the hallway beyond that led to the bedrooms, variously equipped with everything from handgrenades to my beloved flamethrower. Both of which my boss had already made me promise not to use under any circumstances.

"Niko will talk him around," Ishiah insisted. "There will be no need for violence."

I nodded. "You keep right on telling yourself that, boss," I said, sardonically. "But I've found that even without being whammied, when Robin decides he wants something, he usually gets it."

"This time he shall be sorely disappointed," Niko threw over his shoulder.

"Haven't I always said, you should just let him have his wicked way with you and get it over with?" I commented. "If you'd taken my advice none of this would be happening."

"If I'd taken your advice I would have remained a virgin my entire life," Nik returned.

Ishiah raised a quizzical eyebrow.

"Serial killers don't go after virgins," I explained with a grin.

"I see," Ishiah intoned with a frown. Obviously he didn't see at all.

"You also advised me to procure a chastity belt," Niko added. "Another piece of advice I chose to ignore."

"Hey, I'm just trying to watch your ass, big brother."

"So is Robin. I think that's what got us into this mess. Also, Goodfellow is the fastest lock picker I have ever encountered. I do not believe a chastity belt would have presented him with much of a challenge." Niko paused. "Much like our front door."

I picked up on the sound of Robin breaking into the apartment a fraction of a second after Nik did.

"Remember: Talk first. Then sex."

Niko growled. "Talk first. Then violence."

"You're a lousy Buddhist."

"Robin will thank me."

"For gating me to Jersey?"

I bit back my next retort at the sound of Robin's voice.

And then Ishiah had to hold me back at the sight of the puck grabbing my brother around the throat and slamming him up against the nearest wall.

"I don't _like_ Jersey," Goodfellow snarled, bared teeth a mere millimeter from Niko's neck.

Nik sucked in a slow breath, turning his head away from the puck and grimacing in disgust as Robin's tongue left a lazy trail of saliva from his collarbone to his ear.

"And do you know what's _worse_ than being gated to Jersey just as you're finally about to bed the human you've been fantasizing about bedding for most of his lives?" Robin continued. "Being gated _before_ the deed is done, horny as Hades and with an erection the size of Mount Vesuvius." He shoved his groin into Nik's hip just to prove the point.

Niko gritted his teeth but made no comment, causing Robin to tighten his grip around his throat and slam his head back against the wall for emphasis.

"Are you even _listening_ to me, boy?" Robin growled.

Nik swallowed. "You sound disturbingly like Hob today, Robin," he pointed out. "And I suspect my dislike for Hob is possibly greater than your dislike for Jersey—"

The rest of Nik's sentence was cut off by Robin suddenly grabbing both his wrists in one hand, yanking them behind his back and spinning him until he was slammed face first into the wall, Goodfellow shoving himself up against the length of him and grabbing a fistful of his braid so he had zero chance of moving.

Again, Ishiah had to put a hand on my arm to still my instinct to go and kick Robin's ass for touching my brother like that.

"You know," Robin began lazily, "this braid could come in very handy for anyone who might want to, oh I don't know, maybe make you move your head in a particular motion and your mouth..." He trailed off, letting the image hang there.

Niko tightened his jaw. "I know you would never force anyone to do something like that," he said. "Consent is important to you, correct?"

Robin paused, nibbling briefly on Nik's ear, before asking innocently, "Why did Jack the hybrid-angel call you a whore?"

I glanced at Ishiah, frowning.

"Jack?" Nik echoed, obviously thrown by the non-sequitur. "The storm spirit? You said he called all blonds whores."

Robin nodded, letting go of Nik's braid and sliding his hand down to his hip, where his fingers hooked beneath the waistband of his jeans. "True," he agreed. "I did say that. But you were...mortified. Like maybe it was true."

Niko swallowed, and I took a breath.

"Don't be ridiculous," Niko started to protest. "I'm not—"

"I met your mother, remember?" Robin continued, causing Nik to snap his jaw shut with a click. "She was always looking for a way to make a fast buck. I know she would never have dared do anything to harm the Auphe's favorite medical experiment, but you? Pretty little thing like you? Come on. Don't tell me she didn't."

Niko swallowed again. "Didn't what?" he demanded, jaw set.

Robin chuckled. "You know what. I saw you at fifteen. I imagine you would have been every pedophile's wet dream when you were younger. Mother a whore. Always on the lookout for new ways to make money. Pretty boy like you who'd do absolutely anything to protect his little brother. All she'd need to do would be to threaten him if you didn't do what she wanted."

I shook my head slowly. "That...That never…"

Niko made no comment, and Robin shoved him against the wall again.

"Don't tell me you didn't learn a trick or two. How to blow a guy's mind. How to blow a guy, period."

"I don't know what you're talking about," Niko said tightly. And I didn't like the tone of the denial in his voice. Not one bit.

"I spoke to a woman in Jersey. Squatted in the same building with you back in the day. Said your mom's boyfriend couldn't keep his hands off you. Gave her ideas. Income generation. Guys more willing to pay for pretty teenage boys than hags like her who looked like she'd serviced half the male population of Jersey."

"That never happened," I murmured.

"That never happened," Niko echoed.

And I wanted to believe him more than anything else in my life right then.

Robin shrugged. "I'm just trying to gauge your experience level," he said brightly. "Whether I need to be gentle. Go slow. Or whether you're used to it."

Niko sighed impatiently, and I could tell it was taking a lot of effort for him not to turn around and start kicking Robin's ass.

Well, to at least _attempt_ to kick Robin's ass.

"Robin would never speak to me like that," Niko pointed out. "But you're not exactly Robin anymore, are you?"

Robin snorted. "You've been speaking to Ishiah," he said. "Is he here?"

This time it was myturn to restrain the Peri.

Robin made a show of glancing about himself, but I was pretty sure he already knew exactly where myself and my boss had hidden ourselves.

"And Cal. He's here somewhere, right? The two of you are joined at the hip after all."

He paused for a second. Gave Nik's braid another tug. Then spun him back towards him, wrists pinned to the wall above his head.

Nik didn't even flinch this time.

Robin snorted. "You're braver when my impressive manhood isn't pressed up against your equally impressive gluteus maximus."

"Robin—"

"I think they were made for each other."

" _Robin—"_

"Just like you and Cal. I'd like to watch you two making out."

 _That_ comment pretty much shut both me _and_ Niko up for a second.

"That's disgusting," we both managed to burst out at the same time, and Robin just sniggered.

"The old ways were far more entertaining than this uptight new-fashioned morality."

"Robin, you've been living within this new-fashioned morality for some time now. Why abandon it?"

"I don't believe that was my choice."

"You know you were—"

"Violated? Of course. I felt the change within me. The release."

"You feel released?"

"Morality is such a chore." Robin sighed. "Look at you, for example."

Niko shifted uncomfortably. "What about me?"

"You shackle yourself with morals when you could rule an empire."

"I don't want to rule an empire."

"And I shackle myself to conform to the times in which I find myself."

"You don't seem particularly morally shackled to me, Robin."

"When all I _really_ want to do—" he punctuated his sentence by relinquishing the hold he had on Nik's wrists and taking the opportunity to yank his shirt off his shoulder instead, "—is ravish every beautiful blond boy I can get my hands on, regardless of whether they want me to or not."

"Robin—" Nik grimaced again as Robin proceeded to start gnawing on his neck. "Consent is important, Robin. You told me that once. Remember? You said that these are better, more enlightened times because the powerful _can't_ do whatever they want to the powerless, like they could back in the Dark Ages. Remember? You told me if you'd met me in Ancient Greece, which, well, I guess you did, you could have done whatever you wanted to me and I wouldn't have been able to stop you. But today, because you can't automatically get your way, you find the challenge of winning consent more stimulating. Remember telling me that?"

Robin paused for a second, considering, before announcing decisively, "The man who said that is an idiot," and proceeding to try and yank Nik's jeans down over his hips without taking the time to unfasten them first.

"Okay, that's it," I decided, just as the same thought apparently occurred to Niko.

"That's _enough_ , Robin," he said, just as decisively, somehow hooking his ankle around Goodfellow's calf and yanking his leg out from under him.

The puck went down with a surprised grunt, although he didn't seem particularly upset about the turn of events when he suddenly found my brother on top of _him_ straddling his hips.

"Gods!" he cried out. "I think that leprechaun may have just granted _my_ dearest wish!"

Nik rolled his eyes, taking the opportunity to snap the handcuffs he'd had in his back pocket around Robin's wrists. "Robin—"

" _Zeus_ and handcuffs too? It's like every pornographic dream I've ever had just came true!"

"Just hold _still—"_

Robin apparently had a lot of experience with handcuffs, because before I'd even made it to Nik's side, he'd somehow managed to flip Nik onto his back and reverse their positions again, this time restraining my brother by stretching the cuffs across his throat while he crushed his hips between ridiculously strong knees.

Nik choked back a surprised yell.

"In your days of whoring, did your brother ever see you service a client?" I heard Robin murmur into my brother's ear, and that was _definitely_ it as far as I was concerned.

Robin might be my friend, but _no one_ called my brother a whore and got away with it.

Well, except maybe Jack.

Okay, well in my experience, no one _but_ Jack had actually ever referred to my brother as a whore before, but that didn't mean anyone who did wasn't getting their ass royally kicked.

"I never—" Niko once again started to protest, but the rest of his sentence was cut off by Robin tightening the cuffs across his throat with a vicious yank.

Nik choked, and Robin took the opportunity to lick from jawline to hairline.

"If I can't watch you servicing Cal," he said slowly, "then he's going to watch you servicing _me_ …"

Somehow, his pants were unfastened and so were Nik's, and Nik was flipped face down like he was a rag doll, Robin once again grabbing his braid and yanking back his head as his other hand slid down the front of his jeans.

"Robin, _stop_!" Nik ordered, but when the puck didn't reply, I recognized that as my cue to intervene.

"Okay, violence it is then," I said.

 _Finally._

Except Nik was waving me back.

Robin on top of him, his jeans half off, the puck's hand going places it had no right to be going and his head yanked back so far it was a wonder his spine didn't snap, (again, I really ought to listen when he tried to teach me yoga,) and Nik was waving me away.

"Robin?" he was saying, his tone firm but a little gentler. "Are you listening to me?"

Robin paused, and that must have been a relief for Niko as his shoulder was red raw where Goodfellow had been gnawing on it.

"Okay, listen," Nik continued, pressing on now he apparently had Robin's attention.

I paused, mid-step.

My brother had a plan.

 _Well it's about frickin' time, big brother…_

"Robin?" Nik continued. "Did you actually enjoy raping and pillaging once you'd become you rather than Hob?"

Robin didn't reply, but hadn't resumed his attempts at getting Nik naked either.

"Well did you?"

Robin considered. "I don't know what you're asking me."

Nik swallowed, trying to brace himself in the unnatural position Robin had him in.

"Was it good for you? Forcing yourself on someone? Or was it better if they were willing?"

Robin continued to think about it, before beginning to caress the back of Nik's neck almost tenderly.

Nik closed his eyes for a second and took a breath. "Isn't it better if it's reciprocal? Rather than adversarial?"

"I'm stronger than you," Robin murmured, continuing to kiss the base of Niko's neck.

"Yes you are," Nik agreed slowly. "But is that the way you want it to be? With me? How long did you say you've wanted me?"

Robin paused to think. "Several lifetimes."

"And when I was Achilles. Was I willing or did you force me?"

"You were willing," Robin said at length. "And who wouldn't be? I'm a god amongst insects."

"And Ishiah?" Nik continued. "How long did you mope after him before he said yes?"

Goodfellow raised his head a little. "I don't mope!" he insisted, and for a second he almost sounded like his usual brash self. "And...it took him a long time to give in to me."

"But he _did_ give in, right? Eventually? You never forced him?"

Robin shook his head. "I would never do that."

"To someone you love?"

Robin didn't reply, but I heard the sound of Ishiah's wings shaking themselves out behind me.

"And it was better for that, right? For waiting? For winning him over?"

Robin still didn't respond.

"What if instead of you trying to force yourself on me," Niko continued, "we try something else?"

I wasn't sure I liked where this conversation was going.

"Like what?" Robin asked.

"Maybe…" Nik said slowly, "maybe we could try not being adversarial."

Robin swallowed visibly.

"Maybe we might both prefer that?"

I was pretty sure I'd stopped breathing by this point.

"You know what would be a good start?" Niko pressed.

Robin raised a quizzical eyebrow.

"I really don't like people pulling my hair."

Robin thought about that for a second. "Even Promise?"

"What I do with Promise isn't your concern," Nik told him. "But if we're going for consent, you could start by letting go of my hair."

Robin paused for another couple of seconds, and then released Nik's braid.

Nik gulped in a breath as his neck was suddenly no longer hyper-extended.

"Better?" Robin asked.

Nik nodded. "Much better. Now maybe I can do something for you."

It was at this point I started to wonder whether there was any way I could gate out of there without anyone noticing. Or, alternatively, gouge out my own eyes.

"I'm open to suggestion," Robin said.

"Well," Nik said, "If you want to kiss me, you could ask."

Robin paused again. "Is this a trick?"

"Let me up and I'll show you."

Robin thought about it, before very slowly rolling himself off of Niko's back and lowering himself down onto the mat beside him.

He lay on his back, gazing up at my brother who was still lying on his front, raised up on his elbows.

"Can I kiss you?" Robin asked carefully.

It kind of felt like I was watching the start of a bad porno starring my brother and my best friend.

"If you want to," Nik said, before adding, just as Robin caught the back of his neck with his hand and began to pull him closer, "but think about this first."

Robin blinked at him.

"So, originally you were Hob, and you took anyone you wanted to take whether they consented or not, correct?"

Robin nodded mutely.

"And then, as you became Robin Goodfellow, you began to appreciate the value of consent."

Robin nodded again.

"That's called progress," Nik continued. "Self-improvement. So once you discovered how much better it could be with a consenting sexual partner—"

"Or several consenting sexual partners," Robin put in. "Simultaneously."

Nik rolled his eyes. "Eventually you found Ishiah. And discovered monogamy."

Robin paused. "Wait a second—" he began suspiciously.

"And how are you finding monogamy?"

Robin virtually growled. "Frustrating," he burst out, pulling Nik's head—and mouth—closer to his own.

Nik resisted, but wasn't having to fight Robin off as he had been a few minutes ago. "But you love Ishiah, don't you?"

Robin swallowed.

"And that's better than a hundred consenting partners in a single week?"

"That would depend if you were one of those consenting partners."

"But that would just be sex, it wouldn't be—" Nik didn't manage to get out the rest of his sentence as Robin had apparently grown tired of waiting.

I'd never actually seen my brother willingly—sort of—kissing a guy before.

I think I might have thrown up a little bit.

But Nik was true to his word, allowing Robin to kiss him until the puck finally came back up for air.

Nik held his gaze calmly. "Better?"

"Than?"

"Throwing me up against a wall, pulling my hair and trying to tear my clothes off."

Robin took an inordinate amount of time to consider that one. "They both have their merits."

"But it's better if I'm kissing you than if I'm trying to figure out a way to gut you with my brother's knife?"

Robin inclined his head. "Kissing is definitely better than gutting, yes."

Nik actually smiled at that. "Not in Cal's world, but let's keep this about you. So let's review: When the leprechaun took away your inhibitions he returned you to a pre-enlightened state where you'd never experienced love or consensual love-making—"

"You sound like a self-help manual."

"So Cal tells me. But now you realize the importance of consent?"

"Kiss me again so I can realize it some more."

"Robin."

Robin rolled his eyes. "Yes, _Mom_ , I realize the importance of consent."

"And monogamy?"

"I suppose—"

"Ishiah didn't mean to hurt you. Or me."

Robin blinked at him. "I'd like to hurt you both at the same time. Or watch you hurt each other—"

" _Robin."_

"I know Ishiah didn't mean to hurt me."

Ishiah himself stepped forward then, his fingers knotted in front of him.

"I'm sorry."

Robin looked beyond Nik to where the Peri was standing and grimaced. "Totally knew you were here. Didn't mean it when I said I loved you."

"You never said you loved me."

"That's because I—"

"Quit while you're ahead, man," I advised him.

Ishiah held a hand out towards the puck, and Robin took it, pulling himself to his feet and glancing down as his pants slid down around his knees.

"Oh look at that," he said. He frowned as Nik didn't move. "Niko, look."

Nik did not look. "Thank you, but I've seen enough of that, _felt_ enough of that for one lifetime."

Ishiah extended his wings around the puck like his own personal changing room.

"Make yourself decent," he said. "You've traumatized these poor boys quite enough for one day."

I helped Nik to his feet while Robin rearranged himself, and my brother grimaced as he glanced down at the state of his own clothing.

"I believe you owe me a shirt and two pairs of pants," he told Goodfellow. "And if you ever pull my hair again I'm cutting off your hand."

Robin considered him over the top of Ishiah's wings.

"Very well," he agreed at length, indicating the Peri should withdraw with a wave of his fingers.

Ishiah frowned at him, but removed himself, and Goodfellow stood looking at Nik for a second.

To put it kindly, my brother was a mess.

"I'm sorry," Robin said carefully, and from the expression on his face and the genuine regret in his eyes, he meant it.

Nik squinted at him. "Does this mean you're cured?" he asked casually.

Robin returned the squint with one of his own. "I still want to ravish you, if that's what you mean."

Niko sighed.

"But I'm not going to throw myself on top of you again."

Nik nodded. "Good," he said. "That would be awkward. Not to mention uncomfortable. And I _will_ kill you if you ever try and lay hands on me like that again."

"So will I," I added. "Repeatedly."

Robin shrugged. "Fair enough," he agreed. "Look but don't touch."

"Don't even look."

"Don't take my dreams away from me!"

"And don't dream about me either."

"I don't control my dreams!"

"I don't believe you."

"Go home while your dick is still attached, Robin," I said. "I think you've left Niko feeling a little bit...testy."

"I know some fantastic relaxation techniques. You know the Kama Sutra was based on _my_ experiences don't you—?"

"Robin."

"Alright, alright, we're leaving." Robin turned to Ishiah. "Come, my love. I believe we're no longer welcome here. And I have need for some consensual relief with my monogamous boyfriend."

Niko frowned at him, and he turned on his heel and stalked toward the door as Ishiah lingered.

"I'm truly sorry," he said to my brother.

Nik nodded. "You did not do any of this on purpose," he allowed. "Although please don't wish for Robin to be himself again. I'm not sure the world is ready for such horrors."

Ishiah nodded, turning and following Robin out of our apartment, and then it was just me and Nik and the fifty bite marks Robin had left on him.

"You look like a chew toy," I told him brightly.

Niko scowled at me. "At least we managed to avoid violence for a change."

"And sex," I reminded him. "You also managed to avoid sex."

Nik shuddered. "No thanks to you. You were no help at all, little brother."

"I thought you were perfectly capable of defending your own virtue?" I misquoted him. "And besides, what chance did I have against a sexed up puck and my brother with his gluteus maximus of steel?"

Niko shuddered. "I'm going to take a very long shower."

"I think Robin and Ish probably are too."

"Don't be a pervert, little brother."

"Told you to get a chastity belt."

"I'm not listening to you."

"Or stay a virgin. Or just let him get it on with you."

Niko turned and stalked away without another word.

Big brothers. So easy.

Or...maybe not in my brother's case.

 **The End**


End file.
